Obituary for Timothy George Stouffer

Tim Stouffer, 75, of West Des Moines, passed away on June 2, 2023, crossing out of this life and into the next one. He joins our mom, Pat, after 16 years separated by the veil between these worlds. Whereas she was a firecracker, our dad was flint and steel. He taught us how to be men - the kind who know how to use our hands, but also our heads and our hearts.

Dad was humble, simple, and hard working. He was a master of thrift, of conservation in the classical sense. He was thorough, and he was always prepared. He liked to be in control, but not of other people - of himself, and this was true right up to the very last. Of DIY guys, there is none above him - a tinkerer who would fix anything with something repurposed, probably scrounged from “big pickup” or from a relic that had broken a decade earlier and that had been squirreled away in a recess of the garage or basement.

He was the kind of guy who not only stood up for the National Anthem, he took off his hat, covered his heart and sung along. Being a veteran of Vietnam was not a central part of his identity, but his ‘years in service’ clearly shaped him. Rather than be drafted, he enlisted so he could better control his fate. He had hoped to be a chaplain’s assistant, but ended up assigned to other details.

Dad was lavish in little, except for self-sacrifice. He denied himself a great many comforts to instead shower his wife, family, and those around him with blessings. Despite being on the quieter side, he was a fine conversationalist, often in his tendency to ask questions and follow up with a story (some we’d heard a great many times). He was also a creative man. He had a fine arts degree from Iowa State University, and his pre-eminent medium was wood, although oils and acrylics and pens - and when pressed, words - were all outlets for his bright mind.

You might have seen my Dad riding his bike around Valley Junction, where decades ago he and his brother Bill had a woodworking business; or paddling a canoe or kayak on one of Iowa’s lakes or streams, or most likely working in his yard. He was proud of his turn of the century home at Sixth and Vine, with hundred year old trees, wrapped by a hedge, with a large front and back porch and lifetimes of memories. It was a wonderful home for us to grow up in, and he was able to be there up to his last day. A nod to his grandson Levi who lived with him during this past year, making that a little more feasible.

He is survived by Teeg & Amy Stouffer of Marion, IA and their sons, Goody & Finn; and Ben & Sarah Stouffer of Stuart, IA and their children, Laura & Levi.

We will of course dearly miss him, but his health over the past few years had been in a steady decline, with hospital stays, doctor visits, a growing list of diagnoses and medications eroding his way of life. In this way, his passing is his reward. He was not looking forward to a protracted time of difficulty drawing breath, unable to do for himself, the independence and self determination he’d prized his whole life slipping away from him. His 75th birthday happened to fall on Memorial Day, and most of his kids and grandkids were able to gather with him for what was a very special day together, and a few days later, quickly, he was gone. Bless God.

A celebration of life service is available to you any time you’re standing on the side of a river, or when sawdust sprays up onto your arm from a beautiful cut, or when you feel the wind rush over your skin as you pedal your bike. Think of Tim, thank God for your time with him, and know that as much as you loved him, he loved you that much too.